Thursday, September 18, 2008

Befriending Faithfulness


Psa 37:3 Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.
I will probably be rambling, but I have been sitting for over an hour meditating on a verse from the Word and felt I should share my meditations with you all. This verse of Psalm 37:3 has been beside me for a while. I memorized it and claimed it as my own when I was working (doing good) alongside the singles ministry at Ramstein AFB, Germany. When I first arrived at to Liberty I struggled with anxiety, especially due to the fact that some of my expected finances did not come through. I also doubted that I was really where God wanted me to be, but after only a couple weeks here I knew God had called me to be a student here. It was at this point that Psalm 37:3 revisited me and spoke to me in a new way.
Psa 37:3 Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.
I was going to choose to trust God this semester as I let him use me at Liberty wherever He needed me. I decided especially to commit my finances to him, and committed to seek God first before I made any financial decision. I felt like a boulder had lifted from my heart when I gave this worry over my finances to the Lord. When I looked up the word used for trust here in the Hebrew dictionary, I saw that it was also a word which also can mean to "head for refuge". What a picture of trust that by giving something over to the Lord we are allowing Him to be our refuge or sanctuary. By giving something as trivial as my doubts and my finances to God I was allowing Him to save me once again from my self. I can dwell in this land of Liberty where God has placed me because He is continually the one in whom I will have refuge when things seem uncertain. To trust is to have confidence in something. I certainly do not have confidence in myself, but I can have confidence in the Lord who has been continually faithful. Anyhow, the part of this simple verse that has ministered to me the most these past few weeks is the command to befriend faithfulness. What does it mean to befriend faithfulness. I thought of my lack of trust my first couple weeks here. I certainly was not letting any idea of faithfulness be my friend. I was instead befriending the sin of anxiety which then led me to befriend a sense of despair (which is surely a sin as despair is to lose hope by looking away from our Master). In a sense, in worrying so much, I had been befriending - becoming intimate - with the darkness of the enemy (SIN!). I must continually befriend faithfulness by putting my hope in God, for He alone is truly faithful. I must make it my aim to befriend faithfulness by focusing and trusting on the Word of God. In those times when I am tempted to worry or to have doubts about where God has placed me, I need to head to, to run to the refuge which is God's Holy Word. What about you, my friends through the fellowship of Christ? Have you been befriending faithfulness lately or have you been befriending some other enemy of God such as worry, doubt, comparison, lust, selfishness, or pride (to name just a few)? O Lord give us a greater desire to seek You for refuge through prayer and Your Word when we are tempted to doubt Your goodness and faithfulness. I pray this morning that the Lord may teach us to befriend His faithfulness more day by day as we continually seek HIS face. Most of all, we desire to be faithful to You, God, as You have been faithful to us. Lord Jesus Christ, who was faithful to the faithless by dying on the cross for them, we thank you for being the friend to Sinners. We thank you that you desire an intimate friendship with us. We know our weaknesses Lord, but we come to you, our faithful Savior, for refuge from ourselves and our sin. Apart from You and the strength we have in You, O Lord, it is not in our capacity to do good or be faithful. Forgive us for befriending temptation and sin rather than the faithfulness, which comes from trusting in You. Amen.
Psa 37:3 Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Musings from my first weeks of Grad school

August 29, 2008 8:00 a.m.
Since my concentration in Counseling is Christian Ministry, I have the privilege of being taught by some great Liberty Seminary Professors. I am currently taking Foundations in Youth Ministry with Dr. David Wheeler, which so far has been about so much more than working with youth. I am pretty quiet in that class at times, but it’s not because I am shy (though I surely am), but because God is usually using this class to deal with something in my heart. Yesterday, during our fourth class session, God surely was dealing with roots of pride, doubt, and insecurities in my feeble being. We were talking about being “spiritually fresh” and Dr. Wheeler challenged us by saying, What is your passion, What is your calling, what drives you to get up in the morning – What brought you here? Everyone in the room had something to say about their calling, whether it be youth, women’s ministry, or to be a pastor. Everyone seemed to have some great profound reason that God brought them to Liberty University. That is, everyone but me! I am still not quite sure why God brought me to LU rather than some of the more elite schools I might have chosen. I know he has given me a love for the undergrad students especially for the other young women, such as those in my dorm prayer group. In addition, everyone seemed to be so sure of their calling. I found myself, asking the Lord why he had not yet given me a specific calling, especially since I was a few years older than most of the rest of my class. I waited for the professor to call on me and knew I would have to say, I do not have a passion beyond knowing that I serve a living, risen Savior. I do not yet know my “specific calling”. I would say, I only know that God has given me a heart for people. That I am committed to serve God wherever I am needed whether it be with youth, children, women, missions, or the elderly. That doesn’t sound so bad, but it seemed like nothing to me as I was comparing that drive God had given me to serve to the profound calling of the other servants and ministers in the room. Dr. Wheeler did not call on me. I believe he saw me wrestling with God for he simply told me at the end of class, “Kat, take care.” I left the room as quickly as I could and took the long route to the bus stop by going around the law school. As I was walking and praying, the words of a familiar praise song came into my head, “Give me one Pure and Holy Passion, Give me One Magnificent Obsession, and Give me One Glorious Ambition for my Life, to know and Follow Hard after you.” I know my one aim in life is to please Christ and live for His glory. It does not make my passion lesser that God has not yet called me to a specific place or ministry or mission. It is from this passion to know and follow hard after Christ Jesus, our Savior that all other eternal passions and a divine calling will follow. It is a grievous sin that I so often find that I compare myself to others. I must make it my aim to grow more intimately with my Savior, following hard after Him as I daily seek Him in the Word, in Prayer, and by serving him wherever He needs me. I am realizing that the Lord does not always call us by some booming, inner voice. Sometimes, as he has done so often in my life, He only shows one step at a time. This was quite a rambling mess as far as my English goes, but I just wanted to share a little of how the Lord is using LU to help conform me more to HIS precious likeness. God bless you all, my precious brothers and sisters.

<><>,
Kat

The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.
(1Ti 1:5)