Summer loving in my garden

Sweet sleep

On my other blog, (armed with truth on wordpress), I shared about sleep. Here, I am just going to share some music from my favorite pianist, Paul Collier. His music has been a blessing from heaven for me. It lulls me into dream land. One of things I love most is sleeping, and as it says in Psalms, the Lord grants sleep to those he loves.

Psalm 127:2

It is is in vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrow; for so He gives his beloved sleep.

Proverbs 3:24

When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.

This is not my video. Thanks to Paul Collier for posting this sweet piece.

Graduated!

Yay! I finally graduated. It took much longer than I had planned due to circumstances and failures. I know though that through each mistake and through each circumstance, God was in control. It feels good to know I am done, but I also find myself in a time of uncertainty. I walk through the land of limbo. I do know what way to go next. Still I find comfort in the fact that God is still in control. Even though I might walk through the valley of the shadow of death, His hand shall still steady me (Psalms 23:4). It took me almost ten years to graduate. The last 3 years, I was just trying to finish the last class I needed - college algebra. It is humiliating that I had to take it so many times, but this trial of math was just something I had to persevere through to become a better person. Looking back, I can say that I may fall, but I will not be defeated, because the Lord pulls me back up with his righteous hand. In the words of Psalms 37: 23- 24

²³ The steps of a man are established by the Lord,
when he delights in his way;
²⁴ though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong,
for the Lord upholds his hand.

The Lord has upheld me despite my falling - despite my failures. What comes next? I am uncertain. I only know that I shall know goodness. Surely, goodness and love shall follow me all the days of my life. (Psalms 23:6a)

Ode to Nana

The 15th anniversary of my grandmother's death was recently. She lived a long and happy life (up until she got sick with dementia the last several months of her life). She was almost 87, when she died, when I was just 13. I wrote a detailed post on my other blog, but I would like to include a poem here, that I wrote when I was just a young teenager, about a year after she died. Thanks, Nana, for all you did to make me a better person. I was so shy growing up that I didn't have a lot of friends, but you were always there for me to talk to growing up. I know you are smiling down on me with the angels. I know you are not just "resting in peace", you are dancing and clapping in praise to Jesus with all your might!

Nana's Song

Needing to hear some good advice

Needing to see a gentle face

I miss my Nana tonight

The smile of a happy greeting

The voice and the look of a deepful thought

Yes I miss her as I miss as I hear my Nana's song!

The song so full of love and beauty.

Together we hung the clothes across the line

Basking in the greatness of the simple moment

In the smells and love of summer sunshine

A ladybug landed upon the woven basket

“Look Nana” the child cried with glee

Oh yes, that is a little wingling.

In the excitement of the moment

The freshly cleaned linen dropped to the ground,fin

The child expected an angry word

But was held close in the loving arms of Nana

In that special way which makes a child feel like gold.

That night only one was willing to go

To go to her pretty church upon the hill

Arm in arm with Nana I proudly walked.

I hear her voice still as she said

This is my baby, my Libby's child.

The “Old Rugged Cross” we sang that night

Her voice so strong and sweet

She tells me of her Father's love

O how I miss her so!

Tonight, I miss the song of Nana

Wanting that heart to listen with care

Tonight I miss the different beauty

Strengthened by the wisdom's touch

Tonight I hear her singing

Singing with the angels

In our final home up in the sky!

Lost Your Head Blues

This is a blues song by Bessie Smith called "Lost your Head Blues" that we listened to this week in Music Appreciation. The other musicians at the recording session said that Smith completely used improvisation in this piece because they needed one more song to make use of the time they had in the studio. Its amazing that something like this came off the top of her head.

I was also required by my professor to write lyrics for a blues song yesterday. I thought about what made me the "bluest" in the last year. As some of y'all know, I had a stalker last year. Even after the year long restraining order ended, he showed up at my house in April. When I wouldn't see him, he attended my church for a few weeks in May in hopes of seeing me (I was working lots of extra overtime in May). He has not been seen in 3 months. I am free from fear now, but I wrote a little diddy about how blue I felt at the time. I think my feelings are similar to that of a lot of other victims. I am not a song writer by any means, but it is kinda amusing and interesting. Here is the "Stalker Boy Blues".

I have the stalker boy blues,

This kind of follower a girl just does not choose

To think I'd love you makes you seem so obtuse

Why must you think I'm the girl you just can't lose?

Stalker boy, Stalker boy what are ya thinkin'

If I had my way you’d be in a frickin' cell

But to see you in court a year would just be livin' hell!

You think you're so good your junk don't even prickin' smell.

I have the stalker boy blues,
Why is it my phone you must continue to abuse?

To say you really were my friend was really just a ruse.

To let you keep on watching me is something I refuse!

Bye bye, stalker boy, my temper's lit a fuze!

Yes, I've got the stalker boy blues.

Psa 40:1 To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David. I waited patiently for the LORD; he inclined to me and heard my cry.
Psa 40:2 He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure.
Psa 40:3 He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the LORD.

Brad Paisley - Letter To Me

I am not responsible for this video or its contents nor am I trying to make a profit from it. I wrote a letter to myself 15 years a go. Wishing I could really send words of wisdom back to a smaller me!

Publish Post

One Pure And Holy Passion

This song was meant to go with my previous post called letter to me. Disclaimer at bottom of that post. I am not responsible for the contents of this video nor am I trying to make a profit from it!

If I could write a Letter To Me

To: Kathryn on your 28^th Birthday

From: 13 year old Kathryn

Dear much older and mature Kathryn,

Did you become the writer you wanted to be, did you fulfill your lifetime dream of being a biologist or teacher, biology teacher? Are you married and have three children or did you not get married as you said? If not, are you living with a friend or by yourself and did you ever go to Europe like you wanted to? Well, anyway, what I am trying to say is did you fulfill your ambitions?

My Esteemed Self,

Newly-Teenaged Kathryn

Dear much younger and silly Kathryn,

You would probably find this letter quite disappointing, especially since you were so full of yourself as a teenager. Many of your dreams have died or come to a broken end. No, I did not yet fulfill my dream of becoming a published writer, but I am still hopeful! I no longer desire to make fame or fortune off my writing though. If I end up trying to publish my work again, it will be because of my desire to spread goodness and truth to the world. In regards to your second question, I lost my passion for marine biology about half-way through high school. Somewhere along the way my brain stopped working as well as it did for you. and science became very difficult for me. I do still take my microscope out now and then to admire the tiny facets of the smallest of creatures. Don’t worry my dear, little me, I am still fascinated by science and have even led seminars on creation science. I will always enjoy science.

As to your question about marriage, I stayed single just as I thought I would. I was surprised that at your age, you assumed I would stay single. You seemed very afraid that having a family would ruin your ambitions, but this is not why I am still single at all! I have had a few men who wanted to marry me over the years; however, the leaders in your life as you got a little older taught me never to compromise when it came to God’s best. It is very hard to find someone who shares the same passion and vigor for the truth. Honestly, little one, I have stopped searching for a husband, but its because I believe if it is God’s desire for me to marry, I will meet him while pursuing Christ and heading toward the ministry field. I know you secretly wanted to have lots of children, but it will happen in God’s perfect timing. I have also learned the hard way that it is best to always let the man approach and pursue. I am still almost as shy as I was when you wrote this letter so it will certainly take some clear divine intervention before I end up with a spouse anyway! I honestly think the shyness God gave you was partly God’s way of protecting me from many types of evil, especially that which comes from the male species. It scared many of your suitors away as you got older, especially in high school, but now looking back I thank God for my shyness. As regards to who I live with, I am living with two of my closest friends and you will be very surprised to find out who they are. Well, most likely you will be disappointed but I find that I am not. I am currently living with our dear mum and daddy. It was not an easy decision, but it was the best thing to do after I foolishly built up medical bills and college loan debt during the early 20s. If I could send a letter back to 1996 there is a lot more I would tell you about your future decision-making skills, but everything happens for a reason so I will not scold you! So, I am living with my parents again and that’s ok. I hate that you did not realize what awesome people they were back then, but you will truly come to appreciate them and their good opinion in your older age. You will be happy to hear that I did make it to Europe. Only 2 years after you wrote me this letter, I moved to Europe with my bro and the parentals (sis would come later). Actually, I kicked and fussed about moving at the time. During the fun of my first two years of high school (you were surprisingly a bit popular during your days in Mississippi) you must have forgot about your dreams to go to Europe. Anyhow you went to Europe, living in Germany, and were able to visit all the cool places you couldn’t even imagine. You visited 14 countries in Europe on various trips and even went to Morocco during your senior year. Your passion for mission trips and humanitarian work started there on youth trips in high school. When you were almost 21 your parents had to transfer back to Germany, but you liked it so much that you decided to get a job so you could stay a couple more years. You got a part- time job as a gymnastics coach! Can you believe it! The awkward, bumbling Kathryn that you were became a gymnast! Since you only worked part time you were able to help a lot with youth ministry with Cadence International/Malachi and work with young military women through an organization called the Navigators. It was an awesome time! Then you spent a semester up in Northern Germany with Calvary Chapel Bible College. A lot of the students spoke little or no English so you got to use your foreign language skills as you had hoped, little Kathryn. I know you never intended to live in Europe for so long so you won’t be surprised to hear, you came home to America in 2006 at age 23 and decided to stop playing and finish school. I am finally in my last semester. Are you disappointed it took me so long? Well, hopefully you won’t begrudge me the fun I had during all my adventures. Finally, curious girl, you asked me if I fulfilled my ambitions. My ambitions have surely changed. I dream of living in Asia now someday and doing full time mission and humanitarian work. Are you surprised. I am sure you might even laugh, silly Kathryn! My greatest ambition now is just to spread love and peace around the World, and just to know Christ and make HIM known! I look back and I think your ambitions are somewhat silly, but I know they are genuine so I thank you so much for sharing them with me. I just may have to write a letter to me in another 10 years. Will she be just as thankful as I am to you for sharing yourself with me. Goodbye, 13 year old Kathryn. To me you are just a fading memory. Everything good and bad that happened between the me, then and the me , now, was used by God to shape me into the person He wanted me to be. No regrets my child. No regrets!

Humbled by your Regards,

Kat

P.S. – The reason 13 year old Kathryn wrote to 28 year old Kathryn is because for some reason she thought everything was all going to come together and life would be perfect at 27. 27 is my favorite number and Psalm 27 was my favorite chapter of the Bible as a teenager!

Name: Kathryn E. Jackson

Age: 13

Gender: Girl but 98% tomboyish, prefers to hang out with the boys

Temperament: Very Shy

Hobbies: Spending hours with her microscope, playing in the puddles after a rainy day , playing video games with my bro, Writing poetry and stories, Journaling, Reading, Talking 3-5 hours on the phone a day while talking to her best friend as she watches TV: mostly VH-1, BET, MTV. In 1996 its all about music videos.

Favorite Books: Little Women, Chronicles of Narnia, Pilgrim’s Progress, The Adventures of Winnie Pooh, anything by Grace Livingstone Hill, Christy

Favorite Songs: Don’t go Chasing Waterfalls (TLC), The Boy is Mine (Brandy and Monica), Unchained Melody (Elvis), Hallelujah Chorus

Favorite Movies: Greece!!! Never ending Story, Dirty Dancing, and anything with Elvis

Favorite Tv shows: Boy Meets World, Home Improvement, Fresh Prince, Blossom, Mystery Science Theater, Twilight Zone, Gumby, New Adventures of Superman, Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman

Celebrity Crushes: Joey Lawrence (admit I have his biography), Johnathan Taylor Thomas, Johnathon Brandis (R.I.P.), Bruce Lee, and Rider Strong

Real Crushes: J.B. (same crush since age 9. Don’t worry girl you will soon realize he is not all that!)

Favorite Sports: Running, Cross Country, Biking, and Climbing Trees

Most O.M.G. embarrassing moment: When my towel fell off at Summer Camp this past summer when I was walking back to my cabin. Luckily, it was quickly recovered.

Dreams/Ambitions: To be a Marine Biologist and an author of books while being a free-lance journalist on the side for the New York Times

Name: Kathryn Jackson (mostly goes by Kat – can’t really tell you when that started or where it came from except that it was during my senior year of high school that it began)

Age: 28

Gender: Girl. Very feminine (although I’m sure some of the tom-boyishness is still in there somewhere.)

Still prefers to hang out with the boys although its not such a good idea anymore cause they now have cooties!

Temperament: Still very shy although I have moments of excessive hyperness and babbling

Hobbies: Asian dramas and animes, Writing poetry and stories (though very rarely inspired), Blogging, Texting (can’t believe I ever loved to talk on the phone. I hate it now!), Cooking, Shopping, Reading, Traveling, going for a walk in the rain, watching thunderstorms, going to the beach, singing

Favorite Books: Little Women,Lord of the Rings trilogy, Narnia books, Jane Eyre, Pride and Prejudice, anything by Martin Luther, Charles Spurgeon, or Elisabeth Elliot, Christy, does manga count!!!

Favorite Music: the Hallelujah Chorus, Jeremy Camp, Elvis, Frank Sinatra, John Mayer, Enya, Lecrae, well, really I like a bit of everything now. I love music

Favorite Movies: Lord of the Rings, Fireproof, Moulin Rouge, Return to Me, Fireproof, Mohabattein, anything Bollywood!!!, Jane Eyre (1970), anything Jane Austen!!

Favorite Tv: Glee (only American show I currently watch), live birth shows, Anime, Asian dramas (Korea (favorite), Japan, Taiwan, China, Philippines, India, Thailand) – obsessed with Asian culture

Celebrity Crushes: Joey Lawrence (some things don’t change), Vaness Wu (pretty Taiwanese musician/actor – he’s Christian too!), Lee Min Ho, Jang Geun Seuk

Real Crushes: None currently. Sorry guys I am picky now and I am boring

Favorite sports: Gymnastics, Soccer, Swimming

Most O.M.G. embarrassing moment: Every day. I am embarrassed so easily nowadays that its embarrassing. I hate that I blush so easily.

Dreams/Ambitions : To someday write children’s books, to pay off my loans and someday work in Asia with humanitarian/mission work; To have a spouse who shares the same passion for the truth and wants to have lots of babies. Overall: To do the will of God, my Father, and be an encouragement to mankind.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for the contents of the music videos above this post. Thanks to those other fans who first uploaded these videos. If you have any problems with sharing let me know and I will remove them immediately.

Just "Sitting on the Dock of the Bay" Today

This is to be the first of many music posts. I had planned today to talk about one of the songs from my music appreciation class but i was inspired otherwise. One of the stores I work is a small neighborhood gas station that is part of the Piggly Wiggly located right before the bridge toward Folly Beach. Although I hated working there at first because it is a 45 minute drive from work I quickly fell in love with the small community and the people. You see the store isn't just a convenience store it is also a place of social connection for those who live in the neighborhood. Everybody knows everybody and looks out for everyone else. I see the same people everyday (some of them three times a day). You can often see a group of people standing outside the store talking about everything and nothing and just shooting the breeze. Unlike my other stores it tends to be a very relaxed atmosphere just as any beach store should be. A couple weeks ago, I was standing in this store when suddenly Otis Redding's "Sitting on the Dock of the Bay" comes over the Store radio. Unconsciously I start moving my body to the music even though at the time I didn’t know the song by heart or the artist. The cashier laughs at me and I say that "I didn’t even realize i was moving. Some songs just have a rhythm that your mind cant really ignore!" Three people who were just kinda hanging out said "That is Otis Redding for you!". I said I didnt really know who he was but his music had a nice sound and I knew I had heard some of his music in movies or on the radio. One lady said, you really don’t know he is! He died in a plane crash years a go. I promised to look him up when I got home. She then said, “There is a reason why this song means so much to me!” As she said this, she suddenly seemed very emotional. She said that Otis wrote the song when she was in college. It was a time when the fight for civil rights was in full swing. There were bars and stores that banned "colored people", as they called them then, from entrance. Riots could break out at any time in the streets. There was a night when she was just hanging out with some of her buddies. One of her close friends got a little buzzed and he started singing the recently released song, Otis Redding's “Sitting on the Dock of the Bay” to the top of his lungs. The next day he was killed in a riot. This song will forever be edged into her memory because of this last memory with him and when she hears it, She “will be reminded of her friend and the pain of those years so long a go.” I could really feel her pain as told me this story and I will never look at this song the same way again. After doing some research, I found that there are a lot of people who had similar stories about this song. It was actually released a month after Otis Redding died from a sudden car crash at the age of 26. It was recorded a few days before his death and some sources say it was unfinished – that he meant to write lyrics later to the one verse that was whistled instead of sung. Regardless, it was in January 1968 and became the one song of his that became the top hit on the Billboard 100. Otis wrote this song about himself and it quite interesting that he wrote a biographical song months before his death. It is a part of the legacy he left behind. Below are the lyrics and the video. Feel free to leave any comments or stories about the song or the man, Otis Redding himself!

(SITTIN' ON) THE DOCK OF THE BAY
- written by Otis Redding and Steve Cropper
- lyrics as recorded by Otis Redding December 7, 1967, just three
days before his death in a plane crash outside Madison, Wisconsin
- #1 for 4 weeks in 1968

Sittin' in the mornin' sun
I'll be sittin' when the evenin' come
Watching the ships roll in
And then I watch 'em roll away again, yeah

I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
Ooo, I'm just sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time

I left my home in Georgia
Headed for the 'Frisco bay
'Cause I've had nothing to live for
And look like nothin's gonna come my way

So I'm just gonna sit on the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
Ooo, I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time

Look like nothing's gonna change
Everything still remains the same
I can't do what ten people tell me to do
So I guess I'll remain the same, yes

Sittin' here resting my bones
And this loneliness won't leave me alone
It's two thousand miles I roamed
Just to make this dock my home

Now, I'm just gonna sit at the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
Oooo-wee, sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time

(whistle)

Sources:http://www.lyricsdepot.com/otis-redding%25/sitting-on-the-dock-of-the-bay.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%28Sittin%27_On%29_The_Dock_of_the_Bay

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Otis_redding

http://www.otisredding.com

Tapping into God's Power

Colossians 2:9-10

For in him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily, and you have been filled in him who is the head of all rule and authority.

As I read this verse I thought that I have an all-powerful God, but am I really tapping into that power. In Christ is the fullness of God, the deity, - an authority over everything both the living and the dead. The Lord Jesus has even the power to bind Satan and cast him away at this very moment as He has promised to do in the future. Already, he has bound the evil one’s power over me and the rest of His beloved children. I have been filled with Christ – by Him who is the fullness of God in bodily form (tangible, touchable form). The fullness of the deity rests in me that I have been given authority over sin and death, too. For with the fullness of God within me these things can not master me. The ways of Satan can no longer touch me since the fullness of Christ dwells within my soul. Am I living daily, moment by moment in realization of the power unleashed in me by the grace of my LORD and Savior? Do I not so often live in fear rather than in power by accepting the authority to conquer and overcome sin in my life? Should I not aim to look this world in the face and say, The fullness of the living deity dwells in me therefore your foolish ways have no authority or part with me! If I could fully grasp the power of my Lord Jesus would I not more easily submit to His will? I surrender to the power of my all powerful Savior. Control me, Guide me, Take me by Thy power and make me what you will today. What a precious thing it is to be under your authority and power, Lord. Help me to grasp more fully what this means. Bend me, Break me and bring me low by thy power, LORD. Thank You, LORD Jesus! Your love abounds to me.

Lecrae Take Me As I Am

The Need in our Own Backyard

Rom 10:13 For everyone, "whoever may call on the name of the Lord will be saved." Rom 10:14 How then may they call on One into whom they have not believed? And how may they believe One of whom they have not heard? And how may they hear without preaching? Rom 10:15 And how may they preach if they are not sent? Even as it has been written, "How beautiful" "the feet of those preaching the gospel of peace, of those preaching the gospel of good things." Isa. 52:7

It is high time I gave a missions update. I have to say that I am unsure now where my calling lies. I just know God has given me a heart to serve people. I know I had been saying for 2 years that it must be world missions but my trip last summer to Chicago (with Liberty's Xtreme Impact and a dozen youth) opened my eyes to a bigger world than I had imagined. That was the enormous need in my own backyard. Here I was in a city in my own country surrounded by prostitutes (some of them seeming to be teenagers), men women and teenagers strung out on drugs, and tons of gang members. Never had I seen the need for the gospel so clearly and yet I was in my own land. These gangs were an unreached people group right in my own country. Seeing such a desperate need took away all fears for me and my team members as we talked to people that the world might see as dangerous. My team and I learned of new ways of doing ministry such as through servant hood. We would clean up neighborhood (careful to avoid the countless drug syringes on the streets) and cleaned peoples yards (w owner's permission) so we could talk to the people and pray w them. Not everyone wants to hear the gospel message but much to my amazement not one person we talked to refused prayer. As the prayers were heard tears fell and barriers broken as we prayed to the Lord on people's behalf. Perhaps the neatest part of the trip for me and my team was that God used us when a local gang had a member murdered. They asked the church we were ministering alongside, New Hope Bible Church, to send out a group to pray with them. Our team went alongside a few members of the church. We were standing w drug dealers and possibly murderers and yet the presence of the Spirit was all around us. I was amazed at how much the high schoolers prayers mirrored the gospel and the message of Gods love. You could tell those ganger members were touched and greatly appreciated it; and a few of them even prayer with us. Another highlight was being a part of the carnival that New Hope puts on twice a year. It is in a CVS parking lot by the poorest neighborhood and is free to the public so thousands come and here the gospel through testimony and music. I was part of the prayer tent and was able to share my faith and pray with several women. Halfway through the day I as asked to go elsewhere to help serve food. I was upset at first to leave the duties of the prayer team, but a passage from Matthew quickly came to mind in which Christ said whatever you do to the least of these you do to me. I was reminded that we can more easily can reach the spiritual needs of the people if we fill their physical needs so the remainder of the day I served food and tried to smile and say something nice to each person. It was an exhausting day in which we did not stop however the team all felt the joy of a job well done for His kingdom. We continued to do follow-up ministry in the neighborhood after the festival by cleaning and talking to people. We visited homes and talked to many people who could not go pass their front gates cause they were on house arrest. Many of them had gotten out of jail and were unable to find jobs w their background so they resorted back to their old lifestyles and were once again in trouble. I really have a vision to help people like this. I am not sure if it shall unfold to something more but I was given a vision or dream to possibly start my own faith based halfway house ministry someday. It is because I believe every person needs a second chance. A chance for hope. When I looked a those people I saw eyes that were dull and hopeless. I pray God might allow me to bring hope and peace to those who feel they have failed. We have all fallen short of the glory of God, but we who know Christ know Hope does not disappoint/or put us to shame because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5). I desire to pour that same hope into the lives of others. I honestly can not say whether God is leading me away from global missions to stateside ministry. My heart still hurts when I hear of those who have not heard far away, but now my heart hurts too for the many around me who are dying spiritually. I know I am to share the good news wherever the good Lord places me and right now that is in Charleston. I pray for opportunities to reach out more to those around me and some opportunities have come though my local neighborhood church, Grace Alliance. I am currently praying about short term mission plans for next summer (especially Taiwan with the Christian Missionary Alliance). This summer of 2010 was the first summer in almost 10 years that I did not feel led to go anywhere. I spent my last summer at CSU and worked. It was the first summer while working at CSU that I was able to be there for the entire run of Mission Fuge, a camp where 100s of teens come to serve the Charleston community. These kids saw a need in my own backyard too. I am also applying for an internship with Prison Fellowship. It is my 3^rd time applying but perhaps they will finally see my heart is better than my grades were :). That's about it for now, but you can pray God gives me wisdom as I pray about plans for the future. I am still 3 credits shy of my bachelors degree (and yet 9 credits into my Masters program thanks to Liberty University). Math has been a real trial to me. May I finally overcome it in time to graduate in June. Feel free to send me a line my friends. Would love to hear what God is doing in your lives!

Mat 25:34 Then the King will say to those on His right, Come, the blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. Mat 25:35 For I hungered, and you gave Me food to eat; I thirsted, and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger, and you took Me in; Mat 25:36 naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me. Mat 25:37 Then the righteous will answer, saying, Lord, when did we see You hungry, and fed You; or thirsting, and gave You drink? Mat 25:38 And when did we see You a stranger, and took You in; or naked, and clothed You? Mat 25:39 And when did we see You sick, or in prison, and came to You? Mat 25:40 And answering, the King will say to them, Truly I say to you, In so far as you did it to one of these, the least of My brothers, you did it to Me.

For more info on Ministries mentioned:

http://www.xtremeimpact.com/

http://www.prisonfellowship.org/prison-fellowship-home

http://www.cmalliance.org/ministries/short-term

http://www.gracealliance-church.org/index.htm

http://www.newhopebiblechurch.org/

New Horizons

Collossians 3: 17

And whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord, not for men. 18. since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

An era has finally come to an end for me After working there off and on (I was gone at Liberty 11 months counting my two semesters and two mission trips) for three years I finally left Charleston Southern University. It was not an easy decision. As many of you know I was promoted to Captain in August 0f 2010. I was very enthusiastic but unfortunately I let the job consume me. What had long been a ministry and passion for me suddenly became just a job. I lost sight of what it means to do everything as unto God and not unto men. I got caught up in being a people-pleaser which lead to quite a few mistakes and failures as a leader. I forgot it was Christ I was serving. It became clear to me a couple weeks a go that I was no longer called to serve the students of CSU. I resigned last week. I am so thankful for the time I served on a Christian campus. I was blessed so much but I know the Lord will bless me in a new season. Already I am becoming more involved with church ministries at a church in my neighborhood called Grace Alliance. We are having our biggest community outreach project on the 29^th and 30^th of October : the Fall Festival. On the 29^th we will have a pumpkin carving (it will be my first time in my life to do this. :) and on the 30^th we will have our annual fall festival. The festival will include live music, the God Squad Power team, games, a costume contest. The community has really gotten involved. We will have free Child ID & Fingerprinting courtesy of NY Life & the North Charleston Police Dept. and North Charleston Fire Dept. Safety House will be there as well. We will also have local business there serving and giving free consultations including a chiropractor and a dentist. All ages and peoples are welcomed. If you are interested in coming, we are located at 8101 Northside Drive North Charleston, SC 29420. More information and directions can be found at the church web site : I am uber-excited to help out with this event. Last eyar I went as an “angel” but this year I will be doing security/parking detail for the event. It is a joy to me to get to use my work for His glory. I am currently working as a floater for another security company. Ill enjoy the break until I get regular hours. It leaves lots of time for friends, family, and serving others. Right now all I can say is that I am blessed beyond measure by the glory and grace of God my Savior!

My Heart for the Nations

Hello my dear friends! It has been some time since I have given an update of my life. The Lord has recently been giving me some guidance to fuel my heart for the nations. Many of y'all know I feel called to full time missions. India has especially been on my heart since I went to an Indian Community on a cultural immersion weekend with Cross World this past October. I have developed an addiction to Bollywood (India's Hollywood). I have also prayed about going to Iraq sometime in the future since a need was mentioned there this past September in convocation. I guess though I am open to go anywhere, but the Lord has really been confirming my call to missions lately. Recently at Liberty we had Missions Emphasis Week. Heather Mercer who is the head of a mission called Global Hope was there. She has a ministry called the Freedom Center in Iraq which I have been praying since September about serving at someday in the future. She also was one of the women who were held for 105 days by the Taliban in Afghanistan in 2001. Her story truly inspires me not only as a future missionary but as a women in general. Anyhow, God really stirred my heart this week about where he could use me in missions and then last weekend I went on a missions retreat held by Liberty's Global Missions Office called Next Steps. We heard from awesome missionaries who were either on the field or who had served on the field. The last week I have just been processing everything I have learned. I have been kinda unsure about what vocation I might have on the field. I have had a passion to work on the medical field, but have been unsure about how to go about it. My major is Master in Humans Services and very recently I have changed my concentration to Health and Wellness. I mentioned to my mentor at Next Steps that I had considered being a midwife and after some research this week, it seems very doable to do this after I finish my schooling at Liberty. There is a year long school in Australia which would even train me while delivering babies on the field. I would then have the certificate to practice midwifery in the states while I pay off my loans. Anyhow, in preparation for the mission field I try to go on at least one mission trip a year. Last year I went to Costa Rica with Xtreme Impact. It was an awesome time and I really saw God break down barriers not only in the people of Costa Rica but in the lives of the teens who went as well! This summer I will be going to Washington D.C. With Xtreme Impact. I have been to seventeen countries and nearly a dozen mission trips, but I have never been on a mission within my own country! The Lord just really put it on my heart to see the need in my own backyard. He put it on my heart to reach out to the million unreached people within my own country. While in DC, the Xtreme Impact team will be doing evangelism, homeless shelter ministry, drama ministry, as well as visiting Buddhist and Hindu Religious Centers within the capital. We will be going July 4th -26th. Unfortunately, many of my supporters from my trip last year have been unable to support me this year due to the economy situation. I have deadlines fast approaching. If any of you might be willing to donate to this cause or want to learn more about this ministry, you can do so at Xtreme Impact's website: http://www.xtremeimpact.com/ . For those of you at Liberty, you can also donate by going to the Global Missions Office at dorm 17. NO DONATION IS TOO SMALL!!! Some of us are called to go, but others are called to send! If you are just unable to join me in sending financially, please send by committing to pray that the Lord will go on before us and provide for our every need. God bless you all!

Befriending Faithfulness

Psa 37:3 Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.
I will probably be rambling, but I have been sitting for over an hour meditating on a verse from the Word and felt I should share my meditations with you all. This verse of Psalm 37:3 has been beside me for a while. I memorized it and claimed it as my own when I was working (doing good) alongside the singles ministry at Ramstein AFB, Germany. When I first arrived at to Liberty I struggled with anxiety, especially due to the fact that some of my expected finances did not come through. I also doubted that I was really where God wanted me to be, but after only a couple weeks here I knew God had called me to be a student here. It was at this point that Psalm 37:3 revisited me and spoke to me in a new way.
Psa 37:3 Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.
I was going to choose to trust God this semester as I let him use me at Liberty wherever He needed me. I decided especially to commit my finances to him, and committed to seek God first before I made any financial decision. I felt like a boulder had lifted from my heart when I gave this worry over my finances to the Lord. When I looked up the word used for trust here in the Hebrew dictionary, I saw that it was also a word which also can mean to "head for refuge". What a picture of trust that by giving something over to the Lord we are allowing Him to be our refuge or sanctuary. By giving something as trivial as my doubts and my finances to God I was allowing Him to save me once again from my self. I can dwell in this land of Liberty where God has placed me because He is continually the one in whom I will have refuge when things seem uncertain. To trust is to have confidence in something. I certainly do not have confidence in myself, but I can have confidence in the Lord who has been continually faithful. Anyhow, the part of this simple verse that has ministered to me the most these past few weeks is the command to befriend faithfulness. What does it mean to befriend faithfulness. I thought of my lack of trust my first couple weeks here. I certainly was not letting any idea of faithfulness be my friend. I was instead befriending the sin of anxiety which then led me to befriend a sense of despair (which is surely a sin as despair is to lose hope by looking away from our Master). In a sense, in worrying so much, I had been befriending - becoming intimate - with the darkness of the enemy (SIN!). I must continually befriend faithfulness by putting my hope in God, for He alone is truly faithful. I must make it my aim to befriend faithfulness by focusing and trusting on the Word of God. In those times when I am tempted to worry or to have doubts about where God has placed me, I need to head to, to run to the refuge which is God's Holy Word. What about you, my friends through the fellowship of Christ? Have you been befriending faithfulness lately or have you been befriending some other enemy of God such as worry, doubt, comparison, lust, selfishness, or pride (to name just a few)? O Lord give us a greater desire to seek You for refuge through prayer and Your Word when we are tempted to doubt Your goodness and faithfulness. I pray this morning that the Lord may teach us to befriend His faithfulness more day by day as we continually seek HIS face. Most of all, we desire to be faithful to You, God, as You have been faithful to us. Lord Jesus Christ, who was faithful to the faithless by dying on the cross for them, we thank you for being the friend to Sinners. We thank you that you desire an intimate friendship with us. We know our weaknesses Lord, but we come to you, our faithful Savior, for refuge from ourselves and our sin. Apart from You and the strength we have in You, O Lord, it is not in our capacity to do good or be faithful. Forgive us for befriending temptation and sin rather than the faithfulness, which comes from trusting in You. Amen.
Psa 37:3 Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.

Musings from my first weeks of Grad school

August 29, 2008 8:00 a.m.
Since my concentration in Counseling is Christian Ministry, I have the privilege of being taught by some great Liberty Seminary Professors. I am currently taking Foundations in Youth Ministry with Dr. David Wheeler, which so far has been about so much more than working with youth. I am pretty quiet in that class at times, but it’s not because I am shy (though I surely am), but because God is usually using this class to deal with something in my heart. Yesterday, during our fourth class session, God surely was dealing with roots of pride, doubt, and insecurities in my feeble being. We were talking about being “spiritually fresh” and Dr. Wheeler challenged us by saying, What is your passion, What is your calling, what drives you to get up in the morning – What brought you here? Everyone in the room had something to say about their calling, whether it be youth, women’s ministry, or to be a pastor. Everyone seemed to have some great profound reason that God brought them to Liberty University. That is, everyone but me! I am still not quite sure why God brought me to LU rather than some of the more elite schools I might have chosen. I know he has given me a love for the undergrad students especially for the other young women, such as those in my dorm prayer group. In addition, everyone seemed to be so sure of their calling. I found myself, asking the Lord why he had not yet given me a specific calling, especially since I was a few years older than most of the rest of my class. I waited for the professor to call on me and knew I would have to say, I do not have a passion beyond knowing that I serve a living, risen Savior. I do not yet know my “specific calling”. I would say, I only know that God has given me a heart for people. That I am committed to serve God wherever I am needed whether it be with youth, children, women, missions, or the elderly. That doesn’t sound so bad, but it seemed like nothing to me as I was comparing that drive God had given me to serve to the profound calling of the other servants and ministers in the room. Dr. Wheeler did not call on me. I believe he saw me wrestling with God for he simply told me at the end of class, “Kat, take care.” I left the room as quickly as I could and took the long route to the bus stop by going around the law school. As I was walking and praying, the words of a familiar praise song came into my head, “Give me one Pure and Holy Passion, Give me One Magnificent Obsession, and Give me One Glorious Ambition for my Life, to know and Follow Hard after you.” I know my one aim in life is to please Christ and live for His glory. It does not make my passion lesser that God has not yet called me to a specific place or ministry or mission. It is from this passion to know and follow hard after Christ Jesus, our Savior that all other eternal passions and a divine calling will follow. It is a grievous sin that I so often find that I compare myself to others. I must make it my aim to grow more intimately with my Savior, following hard after Him as I daily seek Him in the Word, in Prayer, and by serving him wherever He needs me. I am realizing that the Lord does not always call us by some booming, inner voice. Sometimes, as he has done so often in my life, He only shows one step at a time. This was quite a rambling mess as far as my English goes, but I just wanted to share a little of how the Lord is using LU to help conform me more to HIS precious likeness. God bless you all, my precious brothers and sisters.

<><>,
Kat

The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.
(1Ti 1:5)

Heavenly Worships

March 16, 2008

Revelations 5:8
Now when He had taken the scroll, the four living creatures and 24 elders fell down before the Lamb, each having a harp and golden bowls full of incense, which are prayers of the saints.

I love this prelude to the worship of Christ, the only one who is able to open the scroll or even loosen one of its seals. I can only faintly imagine the elders as the fall down in acknowledgement of Christ’s divine presence and character. In this passage, we are watching the heavenly scene of corporate worship as these elders worship with their physical stature (bowing or falling down), their music (the harp), and hearts (prayers). I like to think our earthly corporate worship services at church are a small glimpse of the heavenly worship. It seems though that those golden bowls full of incense are what seem to be most precious. I think when he describes these bowls of incense, he uses gold as it represents purity or sincerity - that which is without any impurity. The incense of course is a picture of the prayers rising to heaven. I love to watch the incense smoke curls as it rises to the top of a room, the scent lingering in the air so the incense too is a beautiful picture to me. The prayers of the saints together are born out of the Lord’s character within them. Born to rise into the presence of the LORD God with an aroma that would be sweeter than honey. John Macarthur describes the prayers in these bowls as “all the prayers that have been prayed about the ultimate final redemption.” How often do we pray for this final redemptive work when all the saints that are to be saved, will be saved! How this verse makes me want to pray and praise even as it makes the elders in Revelations 5 pray in the verses following this eight verse. In bringing out this golden bowl of incense, it seems to be saying that the saint’s redemptive prayers are finally going to be answered in full. I pray often, but I am convicted this day of how little I pray for the salvation of the saints. Lord God, I thank you for redeeming me to God by your precious atoning blood. What precious blood is the blood that was slain! Lord, I pray for that day when you will have shown us that you have truly redeemed those out of every tribe, tongue, people, and nation. The redemptive work has already been completed on the cross, Lord, but we look forward to the day when you shall bring all these saints together! O Lord, our Father, to think that in that day of ultimate final redemption You will make us as kings and priests to God and that we will reign with You on earth! That such a thing should happen to any of Your saints is humbling, indeed. O Lord God, I see daily that this world has become so full of destruction and chaos. Bring forth that day when all tears will be wiped away and we will worship You in Your full glory. I pray that those in our families who do not know you will stand beside us on that day too. You are more than mighty to bring such a thing to pass! I thank You Lord Jesus, that someday You, the Lamb shall open the scrolls and start Your redemptive purpose. You alone are surely worthy to receive all the glory and honor! Help us Lord to live daily in acknowledgement of Your imminent return! Amen.

In the Valley of the Shadow of Death

Psalm 23:4
Yeah though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for Thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.

I have read Psalm 23 hundreds of times, if not more. It was the first passage I ever memorized, at the young age of six. Recently though these words which speak of the valley of the shadow of death have had new meaning to me. Last month was a trying month for my soul. A close friend of mine tried to commit suicide and very nearly succeeded. Not long after I heard that one of my closest childhood friends was sentenced to life in prison for committing first degree murder. It is expected that one should be shocked when death knocks at your door. It is a reminder that in this dark world - a world which belongs to the prince of darkness, Satan, we truly seem to be in the valley of the shadow of death. Sin has made its mark from the days of the first Adam and the death and decay around us is sure proof. But I who lover the Lord can not fear this death - the shadow of sin's curse. My Lord is surely with me every step in the valley. While I physically see the death on one side of the door, I have entered another door through Christ Jesus - a door where Eternal Life is beside me and heaven awaits. I cross the footstool of heaven every tome I come to him in prayer. It is though he is gently prodding me - guiding me with that comforting rod and staff to remind me not to worry for He is there. O how much my knees have been on that footstool this past month as I have felt the nearness of that shadow of death in the valley. I have been easily led to tears this past month, but I have also found joy and peace in the midst of my King. I know that although death seems to be shadowing my door, mercy and goodness follow my footsteps. O Lord, I look forward most of all to the day when I shall I dwell in Your house forevermore! How I look forward to the day my King, when this life ends and a new life begins! I shall behold the beauty and glory of the Lord. Then, my Lord, YOU shall have erased all shadow of death and the curse from my body, heart, and mind. I shall truly have Christ's robe of righteousness - void of sin and impurity.

A Beautiful Story

Its been a while since I have blogged here, but I have started to do so again since many of my friends here in S.C. have no desire to have an account with the distracting myspace (where I have been blogging the last couple years). I wrote this one a year ago, but since it is once again Sanctity of Life month, I thought this would be a good thing to share with you all. I had the privilege of attending several events last year in support of the Sancitity of Life and hope to do so even more this year. The bottom two pics above are borrowed from February 2007 Time magazine which featured an article about the success of pro-life crisis pregnancy centers. The story below comes alive for me again every time I pass the church with its row of white crosses.

January 31, 2007

For those of you who don't know it, this month was Sanctity of Life month. At the church in North Charleston (I have recently been attending) there are about a couple hundred crosses representing abortions that have taken place in the last year. You can imagine that it has caused quite a stir in the community. People have called the church outraged because they do not understand the meaning behind the crosses. I think these crosses mean different things to people of the true church, but to me it is a reminder that by God's grace he covered these babes with his atoning blood so they now could rest with Him in heaven. At times, I have thought about how even in something so terrible as abortion God uses evil for good. I think of all the aborted fetuses at times and how they are now in heaven, safe from a world full of pain and sin. It was sin that brought these fetuses out of the world by death but it was grace which kept these babes from ever entering a world of sin. Somehow in all this evil, the Lord had a way of ushering these babes into the eternal life of heaven. Babes that might have otherwise gone to hell. I think of what Job said. He said to his friends I wish that I had been born stillborn that I might be now with kings and princes! He longed for an eternal life without suffering. These small babes have the joy of being raised in the arms of Christ. Of course that does not excuse the pain that abortion causes for mothers and everyone associated. Many women have complications after abortion, and many others face severe emotional trauma, which may even lead to suicide. The pastor told us a story this week that I will never forget. As I mentioned, the crosses in front of the church have caused somewhat of a stir. Last week a couple stopped their car beside the lawn of crosses. A church member thought they meant to vandalize them and stopped across the street to observe. They did not mean to vandalize but were intrigued instead. They took pictures of the sign and the crosses and walked up and down the rows of this memorial. Then the man left the woman alone. The woman knelt down in front of a cross and on her knees she cried and appeared to be praying. Then she did an unusual thing. She picked up a cross and raised it in the air and kissed it and hugged it to her chest. The church member left at.that point so we can only imagine the rest of the story. I like to think the woman was finally coming to grips with the past mistake she had made. In cradling that cross she was choosing not to focus on the emotional baggage, but instead was letting go of the baggage to accept that her child was now with the Lord. It was just a plain white cross but the woman saw power in the cross which reminded her of the cross of Christ where her sins, even that sin of abortion, had been covered. She laid the pain of the memory at the edge of that cross. Is there any baggage that you need to lay at the cross today? I know as I heard that story of the woman and tears started to pour down my face that I came before the cross of Christ myself. A huge weight of emotional baggage I had been carrying was also placed at the foot of cross. What a joy it is to know He has taken away the guilt of bloodshed for those who have accepted the power of the cross of Christ. Sweet blood flowed over me and I am forever clean. Cleaned by the blood of the Lamb.

The Road to Success

Joshua 1:8
This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it for then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have success.

Success is measured in this world by money, aspiration, training, and by accumulating material wealth (the nice, car, dream house, etc.). So often as Christians it becomes easy to look to these worldly standards to claim success. How does God measure success and should we not also attribute our success to the Lord who was successful in all things, even in conquering death. Joshua 1:8 says the road to prosperity and success is through God’s Word. Our first step to success is keeping God’s words, as he has written them upon our lips. We must aspire to be literal walking talking Bibles ready at any moment to speak His truth. By letting the Word of God depart from our mouth, we might open our mouths to speak sinful words of gossip and slander and filth ((Eph 4:29 ESV) Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.) The second step to success apart from this world is to meditate continually upon God’s Word. Meditation conveys deep thinking and impressing his words upon our hearts. Psa 19:14 Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing before You, O Jehovah, my Rock and my Redeemer. So then, when we read God’s Word we should read it in diligence so that when we are apart from the Book physically, we are still constantly thinking about its words of truth. Psa 119:43 And do not take the Word of Truth completely out of my mouth; for I have hoped in Your judgments. If the words of God are always on our minds, it would be easier to follow the will of God and harder to step to the right or the left of the path in disobedience. The word way in this passage is exemplary a course of life, a mode of action, a journey. When reading scriptures such as these, I can not help but believe that if we were to be successful in continually keeping God’s Words at our hearts, we will look back at the end of the journey of life and say, “I can die knowing I faithfully served my savior.” What a successful journey of joy that would be! Although our journey will surely meet sin along the way, the Word of God imbedded in our hearts will quickly bring us to repentance. O Lord, so often I get distracted by the world’s way of success. All of my life I have been told it has been successful to make money, and when I find myself lacking in material wealth, sometimes I ten to step off the path of trust to swim in a sea of doubt in Your Providence. I must not let I must not let our words of truth depart from my lips or my mind. I want to have a course of life that find success in being obedient to You. I will meditate upon Your Word of Truth so I may be careful to observe all You have commanded me to do.